Kick Me When I'm Down
by ShazzyZhang
Summary: One-Shot. The Group has left the farm for better things. But an ambush changes their plans, and their lives. Rick and Daryl admit things to each other. Shane is a jerk. Very sad ending. Please R&R. Reviews keep me going. Slash. Sad. Romance. Tense.


_Author's Note: This is a one-shot I wrote based partially on the comics, partially on the show. I needed to let off some serious angry steam and I figured this would be the best way to do it. I suppose this is technically an AU, but then again, my original Daryl/Rick story is too. This one is rated T for language, gore and stuff. It's dark, it's angry. I apologize in advance, but I wanted to make someone else cry. I don't own The Walking Dead or the characters within this story. Enjoy._

**Kick me When I'm Down**

The relative safety of the farm seemed miles away now. It felt like another lifetime altogether. Food, shelter, even the comfort of a campfire after a long day was a mere daydream in the horror of the reality that had struck.

The group had made up their collective minds that the farm was no longer safe. They'd run into survivors in town, and there was no reason to think that they were the only ones left. Of course, figuring out what rumors were true and which ones were bullshit was the problem. But there was one thing for sure, and that was the fact that the farm had slowly been driving the group insane.

Even Shane didn't protest when Rick firmly declared that they would be leaving the farm. Everyone set to work immediately; a week was barely a blink of the eye when you had to prepare enough rations to feed ten people. Firewood was chopped and packed. Water was bottled. Food was dried. A week wasn't a lot of time.

Daryl had known this time was coming, he'd been advocating for it for a long time. He was relieved and worried about what the next leg of their journey would bring. He worked in silence, knowing that the group was depending on him for more than they cared to admit. He was the only one who ever brought anything to the table when it came to hunting game, and while he wasn't the most well-educated, his usefulness extended beyond mechanics and hunting towards the field medic area.

Despite the rough beginnings, he was quickly becoming a highly valued member of the group. He hadn't intended to become as integral to the group's well-being as he had, but it didn't hurt that they were beginning to respect him. He'd grown closer with Carol, despite Sophia's death driving them apart and he'd begun to feel the blossom of an actual relationship with Rick begin.

Things had gotten on relatively well with him and Rick recently. The deputy had been hurt too many times, and Lori had finally admitted that she was no longer in love with him. Without any real clergy or government to validate it, the couple had agreed to dissolve their marriage on a mutual agreement and Lori was now Shane's girlfriend and Rick was single.

Or so everyone believed.

It was just easier that way, they'd agreed. Rick and Daryl had always had a bit of a stronger connection than anyone would dare to suggest, so it seemed only natural that they'd find solace in one another's company. It wasn't blatant, and it wasn't perverse. And no one else had anything to say about it.

A week wasn't enough time to prepare the caravan to leave, but they had to do what they could. They didn't know where they were going, but it felt good to be moving again, even with the looming uncertainty of their future. The group had lost Sophia, but they had gained Maggie, the brunette from the farm who Glen had fallen for. At least she knew how to work.

The caravan moved out with one final hesitation at the edge of the farm. Daryl, for one, was happy to be putting the cursed place behind them.

And now it felt like the farm was another universe.

They'd been ambushed. They knew that there were walkers in the city and they knew that avoiding it was their only chance of survival. What they hadn't expected was to find survivors on the outskirts, and in the small town outside of the metropolis.

It had looked so quiet and peaceful, but Daryl had stopped first. He killed the motor on his ATV and frowned. He picked up his crossbow and waited.

Rick was the first one to ask.

"You see something?"

Daryl trained his hazel eyes on the deputy, taking in his uniform, his stubbled chin, the dark circles under his eyes. Daryl knew that Rick hadn't been sleeping well, and that sleep had been harder to come by since Lori had admitted to wanting to leave him. He wanted to turn right back around and to take their group back to the farm. At least they were safe there. Relatively.

"Something ain't right." Daryl said quietly, not moving from his vehicle. "This place ain't right."

Rick frowned, biting the inside of his lower lip nervously. He wasn't usually so nervous, but things had not been going well lately and he was having a difficult time reconciling all of his feelings and setting aside the ones that were of no help to anyone.

"What do you want to do then, Daryl?" Rick asked after an agonizing moment of silence.

"Turn around?" Daryl suggested. "Go around this place?"

"Around?" Rick asked. "It's through or back, Daryl. We can't avoid everything forever."

"Rick, listen." Daryl pleaded, his voice sounding petulant to his own ears. "I'm telling you, if we go through this hick town, we're gonna get hurt even more than we already have been."

Anger flashed momentarily on Rick's face. "We're going through here, Daryl. If you haven't got something better than a gut feeling, then I can't make a decision on it."

Daryl tried to say something further, but Rick was already back into the RV. The caravan was on the move again.

Daryl was mad. Rick had shunned him. Had written him off. It wasn't fair. Something wasn't right. It was too quiet, things were too perfect. Every instinct in Daryl's body was screaming at him to run away, to grab what he could and get the hell out of there, but no. Rick had been adamant that they go through the town.

At least they weren't planning to stop.

The town was a shell, a ghost town, worse than what they'd seen already. Laundry flapped on abandoned clotheslines. The faces of the houses were dirty, ashen grey, bleached by the sun and the weather, untended and worn. The grass on the lawns was dead, brown and crunchy underfoot. Windows were boarded up behind the streaked and muddy glass. Everything looked as if it had fallen into major disrepair. Silence lingered among the houses, among the streets. Even the garbage flitting across the road in the breeze seemed quiet. The town was as good as dead.

The whistle of the projectile broke the spell the silence held them in.

It all happened so fast. One minute they were driving through, no harm meant to anyone, the next thing they knew there were grenades and an ambush.

There were survivors in the town, and they weren't ready to share their luck and bounty with a group of rag tag people in an RV.

Daryl was the first to react.

"Grenade!" He shouted, slamming on his brakes. The explosive sailed over him and landed in a dead lawn beyond the road.

The explosion tore through the air, bathing the dead town in a fiery light and singeing the hairs on Daryl's arm.

Daryl swore to himself, words that he'd been careful not to repeat in the presence of Carl and Sophia, but now seemed as good a time as any. They were under attack from unseen enemies, and his ears were ringing from the explosion. The staccato of gunfire brought Daryl crashing back to reality, despite the ringing in his ears and he dove off of his ATV. Flat on the pavement, he pushed himself to his knees and crawled towards the RV, slowly, hoping that he wouldn't be noticed.

The door to the RV was open and Rick and Shane were pressed against the side. Both men were armed and neither appeared to be hurt.

"What the hell?" Shane growled as Daryl scampered forward.

Daryl gave Rick a meaningful look. "Told ya'."

Rick nodded and handed Daryl a shotgun and ammunition. "We need to get the rest of the group the hell out of the RV."

Daryl nodded in agreement and slung his crossbow over his shoulder. "Any chance you think these people might wanna y'know, talk it out?"

Shane laughed mirthlessly.

"Yeah, didn't think so." Daryl said with a smirk.

Rick's blue eyes were wide and he took in his surroundings. They were in the middle of the street, pinned down by unseen numbers and under fire. And the assailants had grenades. The only thing standing between them and death was the RV and bullets tended to go right through it. Rick was scared, it was obvious, you'd have to be crazy not to be. Rick knew that he was in charge of caring for the others inside the RV, and he couldn't face it if something happened to them. There were houses on the other side of the street, and some of them looked sturdy enough. Most were intact, but there was no way to be sure that they were vacant. Getting locked out and trapped int he middle of the street would be bad, but getting trapped in a house with walkers, or more of the townsfolk, would be worse.

As suddenly as the gunfire had started, it stopped. The silence rushed in to fill the void left by the chattering of the guns. Rick and Daryl exchanged looks and Shane peered around the side of the RV.

Daryl stuck his head into the RV. "Anyone hurt?"

The rest of the group had hit the floor. Lori was shielding Carl, Glen was shielding Maggie. Everyone else had flattened themselves against the floor as best they could. Carol caught Daryl's eyes. She was petrified, her face had gone the same pale grey as her hair and her eyes were dark orbs of sheer terror.

"We'll get out of here." Daryl assured her gently. "Stay quiet." He offered her a wan smile and backed out of the RV.

Rick pulled Daryl away from the door as soon as he stepped out. The deputy had a firm grasp on the front of Daryl's shirt and he pulled him back, away from the door and away from Shane, who was still trying to find where the gunshots had come from. Rick pressed his finger to his mouth, silencing Daryl. He stopped when they had reached the edge of the RV's exterior and let go of Daryl. He pointed to his ear, indicating that he wanted Daryl to listen.

The tortured moans of the walkers were unmistakable.

Daryl hissed a whispered swear.

"I can't tell how far off." Rick whispered. "Could be a block away, could be a mile."

Daryl nodded, his chest had gotten tight with fear. "You think that's why the shooting stopped?"

"No."

Daryl sighed. "At least no one inside is hurt." He offered.

"Small blessings." Rick agreed.

Shane had returned to the group. "They're in the houses across the street." He said. "I can see them in the windows, kind of. It looks like they have five points in these houses." He shook his head. "These hicks." He growled, letting the sentence hang.

Daryl arched an eyebrow but said nothing. It wouldn't do anyone any good if he and Shane got into it. There were bigger things at stake than Daryl's hurt pride.

Daryl looked at Rick. "Through or back." He said a touch more smugly than he intended.

Rick sighed and looked around. "Shane, can you get into any of those houses?"

Shane looked over to where Rick was staring. He sighed. "Cover me."

Rick nodded and tapped Daryl on the arm. Daryl nodded his agreement and moved away, back towards his ATV. When he was in position, he nodded back to Rick and Shane.

"Go!" Rick said urgently.

Shane took off. It was only fifteen feet to the door of the first house, but that was more than enough space for a bullet to find it's mark. The gunshots rang out again as bullets whizzed past. Daryl and Rick answered in kind laying down enough cover fire to stop the bullets from firing at Shane.

The first house was open. It was an honest stroke of luck. Shane was quick and thorough. Years of police training would do that. The house was empty and there were no signs of death or suicide. The windows were boarded up and the doors were fortified. It was as good a place as any to hide.

"Clear!" Shane shouted from the front door.

Rick pressed himself against the RV as bullets rained down. Daryl followed suit.

"We're gonna hide in there?" Daryl asked incredulously. "We ain't got the ammo to fight back."

"We'll talk rationally." Rick replied. "If there are walkers coming..."

"Shouldn't we just back off then?" Daryl asked roughly. "Back to the farm for now? Get ourselves better equipped?"

Rick shook his head. "Can't."

Daryl narrowed his eyes. "Why not?"

"I won't go back." Rick said quietly.

Daryl hesitated for a long moment, studying the other man. Finally, he nodded. "Okay, let's get the others into the house then." He sighed. "What about the vehicles? I mean, I'm a wizard with the engine but I ain't so good at fixin' bullet holes."

Rick stuck his head into the RV. "Dale, we're gonna hide in the house across the street until we can maybe talk these people down. Can you back the RV up?"

"To the door?" Dale asked from his spot on the floor. The grey beard twitched as he considered it.

"Just enough to give us a bit of cover." Rick explained. "And then behind the house, we can't fix bullet holes."

Dale hesitated for a moment but looked at the scared group of people on the floor. He nodded. "Yeah, I'll do what I can."

Rick smiled grimly. "Everyone else, you're running."

The plan was dodgy at best but Daryl didn't argue. They were going to hole up in the house across the street, hopefully that would give them enough leverage to counter the attack. Dale was gonna drive the RV backwards to offer a little bit of cover for the group as they ran and Daryl, Shane and Rick would lay down more cover fire. It was worth a shot at least – the walkers seemed to be getting closer. Hopefully the assailants would listen to reason once everyone was safe.

Rick was standing at the RV's door. Shane was at the house. Lori and Carl were first in line to run, followed by Carol and Andrea. Glen, Maggie and T-Dog would be last and Dale was driving. Daryl was nervous. There was no way that everything would go smoothly. He had a bad feeling about it.

"When I say go, you go." Rick was instructing. "Run to the house where Shane is standing. Just run. Don't stop, don't look back. We have you covered but it will only go so far. If you run, you'll be safe."

Lori nodded. No one else responded, despite the instructions being for everyone. They'd heard the walkers too.

Rick cast a look at Shane who responded with the thumbs-up. "Okay. Go."

The plan was in motion. The group was running. Cover fire was limiting the bullets sent back towards the group. Daryl was the first one rewarded with a cry of pain from the opposite side. A sick smile crossed his lips as he moved beside the backing up RV.

"Phase two." He mumbled to Rick as Shane began shooting rapidly to cover the other two men.

Everyone was in the house, taking cover. No one was there to see what happened next.

The RV pulled aside, backing up to take cover next to the house. Rick and Daryl moved quickly, meaning to shoot at their assailants while Dale made a run for the house. Shane was inside, trying to pry the boards off of one of the windows so that they would have a better vantage point.

It was a lucky shot.

Time stood still. Rick blinked once in surprise. His blue eyes widened in shock as he looked down. He seemed unaware of the bubbling red hole in his chest. He let out an inhuman growl and emptied his gun in the direction of the hidden assailants. A scream of pain rewarded Rick and he smiled as reality came rushing back to slap him in the face.

"RICK!" Daryl screamed.

Rick looked at Daryl, his face washed in confusion as his knees buckled and he fell backwards, hitting the ground with a thud. Daryl was on his knees as the gunfire ceased. He cradled Rick's head in his arm as he watched the crimson bubble up through the tan of the Deputy's uniform.

"Aw shit..." Daryl mumbled, pressing his hands against the bleeding wound.

Rick grasped Daryl's wrist. "I'm done." He managed.

"No you ain't." Daryl countered, his voice cracking. "Don't you dare talk like that." He bit his lower lip as he fought back tears. "We'll get you outta here. You'll be safe, we can fix you..."

Rick smirked. "You said you were a wizard with engines..."

"But I can't fix bullet holes." Daryl finished as tears filled his eyes.

Rick's breathing was crackling, blood was filling his lungs. He was not long for this world and both men knew it.

"Daryl, I want..."

"Don't talk." Daryl said. "Don't say anything you'll regret."

Rick smiled. "If I don't say anything, I'll regret it." He paused, his face wracked with concentration. "Well, as much as I will regret anything wherever I'm going, anyway."

Daryl couldn't help but crack a smile. Even as he was dying Rick had to get a smart comment in edgewise. Daryl leaned in closer so Rick wouldn't have to strain himself to get his last thoughts out.

"I want to apologize." Rick whispered, his words slurring and thick. "I pushed you away for too long, holding on to... outdated..." A cough shook his body, causing the blood to bubble through Daryl's fingers and out the corner of Rick's mouth.

Daryl nodded, tears freely pouring down his cheeks. "I get it." He replied.

The tender moment was briefly derailed as the moans of the approaching walkers grew louder.

"Go." Rick whispered, recognizing the moans for what they were. "Save yourself."

"No." Daryl said firmly. "I ain't leaving you for them."

Rick smiled as another bubbling, cracking cough shook his body. "Shoulda said it sooner." He told Daryl. "Shoulda... kept you..."

Daryl nodded, taking one hand off of Rick's chest to wipe the stinging tears from his eyes. He placed his bloody hand against Rick's unshaven cheek and leaned closer. Wordlessly, he kissed Rick, gently, awkwardly. The taste of the dying man's blood on his lips disgusted Daryl, but he didn't pull away. He'd waited too long and now...

Daryl pulled away before Rick's last breath. He stared at the blue eyes he'd so grown to love as the light dimmed in them. He tried to catch his breath, holding back tears. He knew that they weren't out of the woods yet. Walkers were coming.

Daryl lifted Rick's limp body from his place on the ground and took a chance. The walkers were coming, he could see their shapes looming from the part of the town they hadn't explored yet. The gunshots had attracted them and the smell of Rick's blood was driving them into a frenzy. Daryl ran as fast as he could carrying Rick. The gunfire from their attackers had luckily stopped, whether it was because they had killed Rick or because they saw the walkers coming, Daryl didn't care to find out. He could hear the yelling of the group from the door of their new safe house and he saw Shane finally pry off the boards that filled the upper window.

The door closed and the lock scraped as Daryl collapsed inside the house. Everyone was buzzing about, asking questions but Daryl said nothing. He sat for a long moment there on the bare floor of the abandoned house while the rest of the group milled about, chattering uselessly. He was still holding Rick. His green eyes were glazed over in shock and he pushed away the first hands who tried to help him. Rage was setting in.

"We go through, or we go back." Daryl mumbled after the longest silence he could manage.

He gently let go of Rick, laying him out and closing his eyes. He took the badge from his shirt and tucked it into his pocket. The group was giving him weird looks and he recognized that Lori and Carl were weeping in the corner. He looked at himself, covered in Rick's blood. He glared at the rest of the group and cast one last, longing look at Rick.

"We go through, or we go back." Daryl said again as he stepped around Rick's body to find a corner of his own. "It's what he would've wanted.


End file.
